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• TALES FROM ALBION

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Hello, and welcome to the 'Tales of Albion' tab. For those of you wondering what 'Tales from Albion' is about, it's easier if you do one of two things: either make a leap of faith, or (if you have a really open mind) you could opt from the off to believe in Albion as a parallel land to England, one which is just as real, tangible and believable. Whichever camp you fall into, I'll do my best to convince you that there really is an Albion.

Now for the interesting bit. Or lot.

Believe it or not, I've been lucky enough to convince two mercenaries from Albion to talk with me, like, as in an interview. Except, being mercenaries, they're not really likely to obey any social conventions or niceties. I think they really just want to talk...

So, I'd better introduce them. One is a huge hulk of a man with hands the size of dinner plates and a sense of humour in direct proportion to his gargantuan waistline. Think the biggest wrestler you've ever seen, and add some for good measure. This is Feydeau. And his good friend and companion is Steel, with his oily shoulder-length locks, slight build; sharp of wit and in possession of an even sharper rapier - and quite unpredictable (am I sweating? Just a tad...)

Anyway, they're here to regale you with ribald anecdotes, historical facts, you name it, anything you might think of in connection with their beloved Albion.

Let me start by saying 'Hi!'

Me: Hi Feydeau, Steel. Good of you to agree to talk with me ...'

Whoa! You're not going to believe this but...

Sorry about that - I think it's Steel's idea of a joke. We're literally sitting five feet from each other, and he's just drawn his sword ...

Steel: It's a rapier.

Feydeau: He's very particular about that. Like I am with my pistols. They're flintlocks, see. Not matchlocks. Flintlocks. And if anybody call them anything else, I'll probably take exception to it...

Me: OK, I understand. Flintlocks. Rapiers. Got it. Can we - er - can we get back to the interview now?

Steel (withdrawing sword SORRY rapier): I'm easy. What do you want to talk about?



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